LONE TREE

At a mental health and wellness workshop on Saturday, April 6, licensed mental health counselor Jennifer Brost described mental health in a small community like Lone Tree: everyone knows everyone, and cliques tend to form in these small-town communities. Things then become divided, and in a small place, that might result in more conflict for everyone.

Other external factors, such as jobs, opportunity, money, and safety tie into the community’s collective mental health as well.

So Brost, a licensed mental health counselor with Potential Counseling and Consultation Services in Cedar Falls, introduced ways for residents to have a more positive outlook on life and to help build stronger mental health at the workshop hosted by Lone Tree’s United Presbyterian Church.

“Good mental health is found through curious acceptance of what’s going on. It doesn’t mean that I’m approving it, I’m just accepting this is what’s happening rather than being judgmental about it,” Brost told the Lone Tree residents.

“If I could give the world a gift, I would give them curiosity,” Brost added. “We get up and realize that we’re feeling crummy and then we’re mad at ourselves about it. We’re telling ourselves, ‘I shouldn’t feel this way.’ Why aren’t we just curious? If I’m curious about it, I might realize I had an argument with my friend and I really valued that friendship. That upset feeling [informs] me that I really do want to go back to make amends.”

Brost added that good mental health also includes “flexible adaptability.”

“We have to be able to say, ‘I had a plan, I wanted it to go this way, but it didn’t. That’s okay,’” Brost said. “I have to be able to kind of roll with things because things change all the time.”

Brost added that people typically know when they’re sick – they might not know why, and going to the doctor can help – but people don’t often know why their mental health is fleeting. They might ignore and repress negative thoughts.

This then leaks into all aspects of life, including conversation.

Brost shared three skills which can enhance a conversation by creating more active listeners.

Her first step was to repeat back what the person says to you.

“When our children were little, like toddlers, they would stand up and look out the window and say ‘Dog, dog, dog!’ and they were never going to shut up until I said, ‘Yes, it is a dog,’” Brost said. “We never outgrow wanting to know for sure that you’ve heard me. Just to hear those words repeated back are really powerful.”

The second skill is to formulate a “curious question.” Brost admits this is the toughest of the three skills and requires work.

She explains that many conversations are built on people who ask questions with an agenda: they want to hear something specific and will ask questions to reach a personal conclusion.

So, to form curious questions, people should enter conversation not trying to prove a point. Instead, they can ask questions phrased as, “How did this make you feel,” along with other prompts which can further help the conversation.

Finally, the third skill was to have a positive response/encouragement. Brost used the example of a dog that passed away.

“If the dog died, is it a positive to go back and say, ‘Oh, great, no more vet bills’? Probably not,” Brost said. “It’s true that there’s no more vet bills and that’s good, but it’s not exactly hitting the spot. [Saying] ‘Hey, you were really good to that dog’ would be really empathetic [and a better response].”

Residents in attendance used these skills to try to hold a conversation. They came back to Brost noting it was hard to have curious insight, forming inquisitive questions on the fly.

But when tied to all of the information provided by Brost, it could lead to more healthy and positive conversations within the community, which was the goal of the seminar.

The church and mental health

“I think it’s really hopeful and positive that the church is doing [this seminar] because it is such an important topic. You can’t just give a Bible verse and then someone’s not going to be depressed,” Brost said after the event.

Brost took the job because she believes in “healthy churches.”

“To be a healthy church, you need the Bible, you need your spiritual things,” Brost said. “But I think these mental health things are sometimes a little more complicated, especially today [with] social media, all the anger and politics. It is easier for the churches to get unhealthy, I’m afraid.”

Teri Heinrichs works with the church and set up this workshop with Brost. Heinrichs was pleased with the outcome.

“I think Jennifer [Brost] did an amazing job; she addressed a lot of the questions that we had or questions we thought our community would have,” Heinrichs said.

Heinrichs did not see the turnout she hoped for but wants to host more workshops in the future, giving access to more residents.

“I would love to do this again. I think it’s important to help people address whatever they’re dealing with, at the moment, and in their phase of life,” Heinrichs said.

Heinrichs hoped this meeting would spark community interest and conversation to get another professional in the church to further help the community.

“I just hope that reading about this will encourage people to talk to someone, and if they talk to someone, and they don’t feel like they’ve gotten anywhere, talk to someone else.  Just keep talking until it’s resolved,” Heinrichs said. “Hope and joy are something that some feel are fleeting. I think we’ve all struggled with mental health at some point, not necessarily to the degree that it was dire, but I think we’ve all needed somebody to talk to.”

Brost spoke about a multitude of topics through her two hours hosting the Lone Tree audience. She invited residents to visit her website, lastinglove.us, using promo code LTP2024 at checkout to download all the available resources.

The Lone Tree United Presbyterian Church is considering hosting another mental health workshop or adjacent programming in the future. If interested, contact the church at (319) 629-4900.