We use the most interesting terms when we address people. They roll off our tongues without much thought. We give them, get them, and interpret them.

I remember the first time I was told that some children address their parents as “Ma’am” and “Sir”. As a little Pennsylvania girl, this was a new idea. I called my mother “Mama”. That was personal and warm. In my book, “ma’am” was a term reserved for strangers. Later when I lived in the south, I understood the need for being respectful and polite in a new way. And I knew you could call your “mama” “ma’am” and still love and be loved.

Some terms cannot be interpreted as love. These are often reserved for drivers who make mistakes. Unfortunately, once said, they not only reflect on the driver’s state of intelligence, but the person who uttered them too.

I could name other terms, endearing and non endearing. But what actually made me think of this whole arena of terms we use to address people was a shopping experience I had with Althea recently. A sales person, nearly her age, called her “hon”. I’ve been called that before and felt either amused or just slightly miffed. But I never took the time to analyze it.

I’ve called people “honey” before. My school children hear it from me once in awhile. My own kids certainly have heard it. I hear it all the time between spouses, in one form or another. Older grandparents like people use it for younger people in a protective, caring way. But it seems different when “hon” is used by a stranger who is a peer, or younger.

So I’ve developed some theories about the use of the word “hon” by a stranger. Either the user wants to be in control, like a parent with a child…or the user feels some condescension…or…

Maybe these theories are unfounded, like my initial feelings about the use of “Ma’am” and “Sir” for parents. I’m willing to be taught. Until then, I may be guilty of false assumptions if a perfect stranger calls me “hon”.